There are some noticeable differences in Kate that have me in tears daily. (My hormones are CRAZY right now, so this is also a HUGE contributing factor.) She never ever ignored me or didn't respond when I was talking to her prior to becoming a big sister. She has done this quite a bit over the last two weeks.
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| Me getting the silent treatment. |
There's also this face that I've seen her make when she does not like what I am saying to her.
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| I think this one had the "shhh" sound when I told her it was time to get out of the tub... |
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| Frustration face. |
Sometimes it is accompanied with her hands in fists pointing at me with a "shhhhh" sound, other times it is not. When I have asked her what that means she says it's her magic. I can only assume this is similar to Elsa's magic and in my head I imagine it's from the Frozen scene where Elsa accidentally freezes Anna's heart. Though I can't be sure it's the same for Kate.
She has also seemed to be secluded. I have never known Kate to really play by herself, but over the last couple of weeks she randomly goes off into her playroom and starts doing her own thing. No talking, no words, just playing silently. Also heart wrenching, tear inducing moments for me.
In my head I know we are all transitioning and that this is just a phase. I can't expect my almost three year old to grasp the changes that have occurred over night nor can I expect there not to be a transition. But my heart aches for my happy, go-lucky, non-seclusive, no silent treatment, no magic freezing my heart Kate.
The teachers at her school have assured me that all is going well. She is taking long, hard naps and is maybe a tad quieter than normal, but she is smiling and playing with her friends and they haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary. I also recognize that the things that we are experiencing are all minor in the grand scheme of things that could be happening, but they are still our transitions and they are still difficult.
These things take time, I know, but I'm a hormonal mess and this transition is a tough one. Seeing my firstborn unlike herself is hard. No matter what that "normal" self is. I keep thinking the sooner I can recover and get back to my normal, the sooner we will all have our new normal.
And that will be a happy, happy day.
Yes to a new normal...so so so sorry about the hormones. We've all been there and they do make transitions harder.
ReplyDeleteIf it helps at all, Ella developed some attitude after Kate was born. She got a little sassy with me just like your shushy lady, but it passed. Just be glad she's shushing you and not hitting her baby sister or threatening to throw Maya down the stairs, right?!
One final thought. Kate learning to play independently is WONDERFUL. Not only is it developmentally important to entertain oneself and develop increasing independence, it's an excellent way for Kate to process the changes in her life. She's learning how to share her mama and take care of a few small things on her own. That's AWESOME. It's also awesome that we were able to give our firstborn daughters our undivided attention at all times, but the fact is that it's not the best thing ever for kids to be so supervised and bubble-wrapped. Take advantage of the opportunity to give Maya your undivided attention when Kate is enjoying some independent play. Little sisters need some one-on-one time too. This might not happen be on your timetable, but that's a toddler for you!
Our girls weren't meant to be only children, friend. Try not to stress about the transition and rejoice in the fact that you gave Kate the best gift in the world when you gave her Maya. No basket of toys will ever compare to the bond they will enjoy throughout their lifetimes!