Eviction Notice

Dear Dust Bunnies,

You are hereby given an eviction notice and are politely being asked to vacate the premises as soon as possible.

The reason for this eviction notice is: your failure to remain in your specified areas.

A demand for your seclusion beneath the couch, under the bed, in the far reaches of the corner behind the entertainment stand (aka: where our guests won't see you and, consequently, think that we don't clean our house...) has been ignored. 

In addition to trespassing into non-dust bunny friendly areas, you also do so no more than five minutes, five minutes, after either Brian or I has so diligently swept the entire house in an effort to rid you of 'our areas' and transport you back to 'your areas'.  This we are not pleased with.  We try our best to keep our areas clean and dust bunny free.  You continue to make our efforts seem useless.  Therefore, we have decided to take the necessary action.

You are hereby notified that if you stay in your obligatory areas from this date forth, you will be able to remain on the premises.  This is met with the understanding that you will continue to remain in those areas and will not trespass into non-dust bunny friendly areas (aka: the entire rest of the house.)

We appreciate your speedy assistance with this matter and look forward to living with you in peace or living without you entirely.

Sincerely,

Management
Hendricks Hotel

(One of the many joys of living in a house with hardwood floors and animal hair!)