The Itsy-Bitsy Spider

Climbed up the water spout.
Crawled across the carpet floor.
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Down came the sock covered heel and the spider was no more.
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain.
Out came the paper towel and scooped up all the [spider] brain.
And the itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.
And the typically tardy Mommy was late for work again.

Let me explain.


Kate slept through the entire night last night - 8 pm to 6 am.  She has done this before, but she typically wakes anywhere from 2 am to 4 am for a quick night cap and then she’s back snoozing.  Because she didn’t wake up, I obviously didn’t feed her in the middle of the night, so when I woke up this morning, my breasts felt like they were about to explode.  (Sorry if that is tmi, but it’s the truth.  Oh, and this isn't the first time that they've felt like this.)

Because my morning routine typically involves me running behind in some fashion, I was … running behind, so when I got out of the shower, I devised a game plan as to how I was going to feed Kate and pump before I had to leave for work.  Because I normally feed her in the middle of the night, I normally don’t pump in the morning.  Anyway, that genius plan involved feeding Kate and pumping at the same time. I've done this before.  It’s not that easy, but it’s doable plus I thought the constant lull of the pump would put Kate back to sleep and keep me only being a little late and not extremely late to work.
Seems logical, right?!  WRONG.

First, I set up on the floor so I could reach the wall outlet with the pump cord.  Kate quickly noticed we were not in the normal comfy chair in her room and kept her eyes open, exploring the new scenery.

Second, the pump noise was not lulling but intriguing, and Kate wanted to know what that thing was making the noise, so she was slightly distracted while she fed.

Third, mid-feed, with one hand on Kate and the other on the pump fixture, I saw something dark on the floor.  My first thought was, ‘I need to pick up that dark fuzz on the floor before I leave.’  And then I saw it move and I thought, ‘Oh, hell no!’  The only light in the room came from the hallway which shone through the door that was cracked, so I was working strictly with my night vision.  I think Kate sensed my apprehension when the dark fuzz started crawling toward us.  She looked up at me like, “What’s going on, Mama?”  With no free hands, no shoes and a spider, big enough to see in the dark, crawling toward us, I had two options: one, let said spider be (this was not really even an option in my book), or two, smash said spider...somehow.


We went with option two.  I wouldn't do well knowing there was a free spider lurking about in my baby girl's room.  I resorted to smashing the spider with my heel that fortunately was covered with a sock, but only after I had devised a game plan as to what would happen if my heel-eye coordination were off and I just spooked the spider and sent it crawling even faster toward us.

Luckily, that did not happen.  I smashed the spider, with my heel, in the carpet.  At this point, Kate was not going back to sleep at all, I had spilled the milk that I was trying to pump with my erratic movement during this pumping/feeding session, I now needed to change my clothes because of the milk spill, and I, once again, was going to be late for work.

C'est la vie.  Fortunately, I can rest easy knowing that there are no more creepy crawlers lurking about Kate's room, but it's going to take me a little while before I pump on the floor in the dark in there again!