Stage 5 Clinger

Kate has always been a Mommy’s girl.  When she was younger, she wanted me in her line of sight at.all.times.  How dare I take a single minute to relax or use the restroom or wash a dish without her?!  That is blasphemy, Mommy!  I learned, in most instances, when I would sneak out of the room for a split second I would be left dealing with an epic meltdown.  Epic, folks.  Crying, screaming sometimes, and tears.  Real tears.

Fortunately, these meltdowns could be easily remedied by returning to Kate’s view and staying there.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it, Mama.  While this presented some inconveniences (it’s a lot harder and way more time consuming to wash dishes with one hand while holding your child in the other), it also presented a lot of learning opportunities, and if I’ve learned one thing about being a parent in these last 18 months, I’ve learned that every opportunity is a learning opportunity.  Clearly, I am an opportunistic parent.  Whatever hand we are dealt presents challenges and solutions for both the parents and the child.  The game is determining what both of those are.

When we are washing dishes, Kate gets to learn about soap, dishes, utensils, water, bubbles, how faucets work, hot and cold, etc.  When we are using the bathroom, Kate gets to learn about toilet paper, potties, the act of “potty-ing”, washing hands, making funny faces in the mirror, etc.  When Mommy needs a moment to relax, Kate gets to learn about quiet time…and taking everything out of drawers…and pressing buttons on the radio next to the bed…and flipping through ripping pages out of books…

There have been times where I’ve had to forego doing the things that I had planned on doing (dishes, relaxing, potty-ing, etc.) and focus my time on my little girlie, but that has always been ok with me.  (There will always be dishes…I’m sure I can find another time to relax (riiighht), and my bladder can hold for a little bit longer…)  It allows me to stop and smell the roses and enjoy the smaller moments with Kate for I know, one day, in the very near future, she’s going to want to do things without me by her side.  You better believe that I’m going to cherish being by her side today while I can!

These days, Kate is still a Mommy’s girl.  And this has become even more evident since she’s been talking so much.  Kate is able to say loud and clear, ‘NO! NO! NO!’ when she’s upset and doesn’t want something.  (We’re not entirely sure where she learned that because we don’t say, “No,” all that often at home.)  She’s also able to communicate with who she wants by saying, “Mama” or, “Da-DEE”.

Last night, Kate woke up in the middle of the night…three times.  She must be going through some sort of phase here because she’s been waking up quite a bit recently in the middle of the night but had been sleeping soundly through the night for a VERY LONG time.  Bless her little heart.  Growing up is hard to do.

Anyway, by the third round of getting up in the middle of the night to calm, reassure, and cuddle, it was Brian’s turn.  Brian went into Kate’s room and it was quickly followed by louder crying, a bunch of “NO! NO! NO!’s”, a bit of hand waving as if your eyes were closed and you were feeling around for something (we’ve been working on our “hitting”), and, “Mama!”

Eighteen months later and she is still a Mama’s girl.  She wanted her Mama to come into her room for the third time that night and nothing but Mama was going to do.  So, up I got, again, to calm, reassure, and cuddle.  And then the world was in order again.  Us Mama’s just have that magic touch, don’t we?!  We snuggled in the chair in her room and she fell back asleep.  I then got up, reclaimed my spot in my bed from the dog who “upgrades” every time Brian or I get up, and fell back asleep…only to wake up 15 minutes later to get ready for work.

I don’t mind our quiet time together in the middle of the night.  These are the moments, when the world around me is quiet and it’s just me and my baby girl in my arms, that are engrained in my memory.  While they are tiring, they are still very special moments that stay with me and make me smile.  Those quiet cuddles are becoming farther and fewer in between, so, again, they are moments that I cherish, but these middle of the night awakenings make me very tired the next day.

And if I’ve learned a second thing about parenting in the last eighteen months it’s that parenting is a lot more challenging when you are exhausted.  Fact.

I know that Kate’s stage 5 clinger phase is just that: a phase, something that she will one day outgrow.  For now, I will do my best with my baby by my side.  I don’t really have much of a choice these days…or at least in the middle of the night!  And, honestly, it makes me feel good that she is so comfortable with me.  She boosts my confidence daily!