The Littlest Patient

Four days after Kate's two month check-up, I noticed that her pupils were different sizes.  I grabbed Brian and he noticed too, so my eyes weren't just playing tricks on me.  I was immediately concerned.  I had not heard of this and there was nothing that I read in any book that said this was "normal".  So I took to Google.

Do not Google things in moments of panic.  Trust me.  You'll find the worse case scenario and it won't leave your mind when 9 times out of 10 it's nothing to worry about at all.

This was our case exactly.  I searched everything that I could with different sized pupils.  I studied Kate's eyes, her vision, and her gaze as much as I could with my own eyes.  And I kept a very close eye on the eye that appeared to have a larger pupil.

That was a Thursday night.  First thing Friday morning I called Kate's pediatrician.  The nurse told me that the different sized pupils, which are only noticeable in low light conditions, was probably environmental.  Meaning that there was a bright light shining on one side of her face and not the other causing two different sized pupils.

Now, I'm no ophthalmologist, but that just didn't make sense to me.  I realize that brighter light causes your pupils to contract and lower light causes them to dilate.  But, in a "normal" environment (read: a common house as opposed to a scientific testing lab), I just couldn't grasp the fact that there would be a noticeable difference in the amount of light that entered each of Kate's eyes.  I mean, it wasn't like I was holding a flashlight to one side of her face and not the other.  (I would never hold a flashlight to my baby's face, for the record.)  I thought that perhaps the pupils had just developed at different rates.  I mean, that's more believable to me than it being "environmental".

So, I called the pediatrician again.  The nurse assured me that this was probably nothing to worry about and that the pediatrician would take a look at Kate's eye at her next appointment in March.  MARCH?!  Two months away March?!  I wasn't going to be able to last on "probably" for two months.

Over the next several days, I payed particular attention to Kate's eye and ended up calling the pediatrician back again.  I couldn't wait until March.

The pediatrician saw Kate and thought that her eyes looked completely fine.  I explained that you could not tell a difference in normal light conditions, it was only low light, and that I noticed that Kate was only rubbing the eye with the pupil that appeared to be larger.  (Kate, fortunately, rubbed that very eye that I was referring to right then and there!  I felt like saying, "You see, lady?!  I'm not being paranoid.  Check her.  Now, please!")

The pediatrician turned the light off and cracked the door open and held a little light to each of Kate's eyes.  Then she said, "Oh, you can tell a difference."  DID YOU THINK I MADE THIS APPOINTMENT JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO COME SEE YOU AND CHAT?!  SERIOUSLY??  THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS WHOLE TIME.

She referred us to a pediatric ophthalmologist who could take a closer look and told me not to worry "at this point".  Now (pardon my french), what the hell was that supposed to mean?!  Don't worry about my baby "at this point"?  And at what point do I begin to worry?  Please, enlighten me, because I've been told that I probably won't stop worrying about my baby, ever.

(Side note: We actually really like our pediatrician.  I think I was a little on edge with going back to work looming in my near future and my concern with my sweet little girlie that I'm probably making our pediatrician sound like someone that should not be trusted with our child.  That is not the case at all.  She is very much a reputable doctor and we have really enjoyed working with the practice.  Plus, a little drama helps the story...)

Anyway, we were able to schedule an appointment with pedi ophthalmologist for the following week, which actually was today.  The doc gave Kate a once over.  He checked her eyes, followed her gaze and looked at her pupils in low light.  He also noticed the different sized pupils.  He put some eye drops in her eyes to dilate them and he checked them again.

Kate gets ready to meet the doctor.

She is the sweetest little patient!

We found that Kate's baby blues are perfectly normal!  Her vision and development are right on track, and the variance between the two pupils in low light is attributed to a very mild case of anisocoria.  I cannot tell you how wonderful that was and is to hear!  I had too many scary thoughts running through my head.  Google is so very useful in many, many situations, but it does not take the place of a specialist with a trained eye.

I will still worry when things don't seem right.  I will probably still worry when things do seem right.  I guarantee that I will always be looking out for my baby.  I just won't be worrying about her eye...for now.