First Day of School

Well, kind of.

Today I had to go back to work, so today was Kate's first full day of "school".  Everyone loved her (of course!) and all the teachers said that she was so sweet all day.

Do I sense a little apprehension?
Or was that me that was apprehensive?

Believe me, I just spent the last twelve weeks with her in my arms every.single.day.  Yes, I know she is sweet.  Yes, I know she is amazing.  Yes, I know she is so good.  Yes, I know she is my sweet angel.

And, yes, leaving her in someone else's care all day is so far the hardest thing I've had to do as a Mommy.  It's not at all that I doubt that she will be taken care of.  I don't doubt that she will make friends, nor do I doubt that she will love me any more or less.  I just know that there is no one better than me to tend to my baby girl.  After all, no one is going to take better care of your baby than you.

And that's how I feel.

Going back to work was uneventful.  It was nice to see some familiar faces and to have adult conversations and to gloat about my sweet baby girl, but it is definitely a transition.  Last night was so far the hardest.  And, after the first day day, it can only get easier from here on out, right??  (Is it ever easy to leave your baby??)

We are all transitioning, but Brian and I are both very happy with the daycare that Kate is attending and that, for one, definitely makes it easier.  I know it will be wonderful for Kate to meet children her own age, but there's a very big part of me that wants to keep her with me always.  And there's a very big part of me that's afraid of missing something - a smile, a laugh, a first word, a first step, etc.  These are the things that I live for now.  That little smile can absolutely make my day no matter how many times I've seen it!

Fortunately, the teachers have assured me that these things usually happen on the "weekends", so that is what  I will continue to tell myself.  And for now, I will cherish every moment that we do have together.

Happy First Day of School, Kate!  We love you!