The Littlest Patient

Four days after Kate's two month check-up, I noticed that her pupils were different sizes.  I grabbed Brian and he noticed too, so my eyes weren't just playing tricks on me.  I was immediately concerned.  I had not heard of this and there was nothing that I read in any book that said this was "normal".  So I took to Google.

Do not Google things in moments of panic.  Trust me.  You'll find the worse case scenario and it won't leave your mind when 9 times out of 10 it's nothing to worry about at all.

This was our case exactly.  I searched everything that I could with different sized pupils.  I studied Kate's eyes, her vision, and her gaze as much as I could with my own eyes.  And I kept a very close eye on the eye that appeared to have a larger pupil.

That was a Thursday night.  First thing Friday morning I called Kate's pediatrician.  The nurse told me that the different sized pupils, which are only noticeable in low light conditions, was probably environmental.  Meaning that there was a bright light shining on one side of her face and not the other causing two different sized pupils.

Now, I'm no ophthalmologist, but that just didn't make sense to me.  I realize that brighter light causes your pupils to contract and lower light causes them to dilate.  But, in a "normal" environment (read: a common house as opposed to a scientific testing lab), I just couldn't grasp the fact that there would be a noticeable difference in the amount of light that entered each of Kate's eyes.  I mean, it wasn't like I was holding a flashlight to one side of her face and not the other.  (I would never hold a flashlight to my baby's face, for the record.)  I thought that perhaps the pupils had just developed at different rates.  I mean, that's more believable to me than it being "environmental".

So, I called the pediatrician again.  The nurse assured me that this was probably nothing to worry about and that the pediatrician would take a look at Kate's eye at her next appointment in March.  MARCH?!  Two months away March?!  I wasn't going to be able to last on "probably" for two months.

Over the next several days, I payed particular attention to Kate's eye and ended up calling the pediatrician back again.  I couldn't wait until March.

The pediatrician saw Kate and thought that her eyes looked completely fine.  I explained that you could not tell a difference in normal light conditions, it was only low light, and that I noticed that Kate was only rubbing the eye with the pupil that appeared to be larger.  (Kate, fortunately, rubbed that very eye that I was referring to right then and there!  I felt like saying, "You see, lady?!  I'm not being paranoid.  Check her.  Now, please!")

The pediatrician turned the light off and cracked the door open and held a little light to each of Kate's eyes.  Then she said, "Oh, you can tell a difference."  DID YOU THINK I MADE THIS APPOINTMENT JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO COME SEE YOU AND CHAT?!  SERIOUSLY??  THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS WHOLE TIME.

She referred us to a pediatric ophthalmologist who could take a closer look and told me not to worry "at this point".  Now (pardon my french), what the hell was that supposed to mean?!  Don't worry about my baby "at this point"?  And at what point do I begin to worry?  Please, enlighten me, because I've been told that I probably won't stop worrying about my baby, ever.

(Side note: We actually really like our pediatrician.  I think I was a little on edge with going back to work looming in my near future and my concern with my sweet little girlie that I'm probably making our pediatrician sound like someone that should not be trusted with our child.  That is not the case at all.  She is very much a reputable doctor and we have really enjoyed working with the practice.  Plus, a little drama helps the story...)

Anyway, we were able to schedule an appointment with pedi ophthalmologist for the following week, which actually was today.  The doc gave Kate a once over.  He checked her eyes, followed her gaze and looked at her pupils in low light.  He also noticed the different sized pupils.  He put some eye drops in her eyes to dilate them and he checked them again.

Kate gets ready to meet the doctor.

She is the sweetest little patient!

We found that Kate's baby blues are perfectly normal!  Her vision and development are right on track, and the variance between the two pupils in low light is attributed to a very mild case of anisocoria.  I cannot tell you how wonderful that was and is to hear!  I had too many scary thoughts running through my head.  Google is so very useful in many, many situations, but it does not take the place of a specialist with a trained eye.

I will still worry when things don't seem right.  I will probably still worry when things do seem right.  I guarantee that I will always be looking out for my baby.  I just won't be worrying about her eye...for now.

First Day of School

Well, kind of.

Today I had to go back to work, so today was Kate's first full day of "school".  Everyone loved her (of course!) and all the teachers said that she was so sweet all day.

Do I sense a little apprehension?
Or was that me that was apprehensive?

Believe me, I just spent the last twelve weeks with her in my arms every.single.day.  Yes, I know she is sweet.  Yes, I know she is amazing.  Yes, I know she is so good.  Yes, I know she is my sweet angel.

And, yes, leaving her in someone else's care all day is so far the hardest thing I've had to do as a Mommy.  It's not at all that I doubt that she will be taken care of.  I don't doubt that she will make friends, nor do I doubt that she will love me any more or less.  I just know that there is no one better than me to tend to my baby girl.  After all, no one is going to take better care of your baby than you.

And that's how I feel.

Going back to work was uneventful.  It was nice to see some familiar faces and to have adult conversations and to gloat about my sweet baby girl, but it is definitely a transition.  Last night was so far the hardest.  And, after the first day day, it can only get easier from here on out, right??  (Is it ever easy to leave your baby??)

We are all transitioning, but Brian and I are both very happy with the daycare that Kate is attending and that, for one, definitely makes it easier.  I know it will be wonderful for Kate to meet children her own age, but there's a very big part of me that wants to keep her with me always.  And there's a very big part of me that's afraid of missing something - a smile, a laugh, a first word, a first step, etc.  These are the things that I live for now.  That little smile can absolutely make my day no matter how many times I've seen it!

Fortunately, the teachers have assured me that these things usually happen on the "weekends", so that is what  I will continue to tell myself.  And for now, I will cherish every moment that we do have together.

Happy First Day of School, Kate!  We love you!

Giraffe Legs

So unmistakably delicious!

This was the first time we saw Kate grab a hold of something.  That something happened to be a leg of her giraffe!  What a cutie!

Welcome Mommyhood

As if birthing your own child doesn't grant you immediate access to Mommyhood, here are a few things I've learned over the last 11+ weeks that ensure I am more than ready to assume the coveted title of Mommy, and have, without a doubt, entered Mommyhood:

On Ambidexterity
I was right handed before we had Kate.  I wrote with my right hand, I reached first with my right hand, I opened doors with my right hand.  My right hand was my go to hand.  That was, until it acquired its responsibilities of holding a brand new baby.  Then I became ambidextrous.  My handwriting with my left hand isn't nearly as neat as that of my right hand, but it's getting there.  And I no longer drop food off of my fork when eating with my left hand (except for peas).  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Multitasking
I thought I was Queen of Multitasking before we had Kate.  I now realize I was merely a peasant. Listen to this successful feat: I single handedly took the clean clothes out of the dryer, put the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer, picked up the basket of clothes, balanced it on my hip, walked up the stairs, turned off the light, closed the door behind me, walked into the living room, turned the light on, and set the basket down (with my left hand) all while holding Kate (in my right arm).  I was amazed at this new found power and have since put it to many good uses.  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Cold Food
When I have to choose between a hot plate of food and feeding my hungry baby, I will choose my hungry baby every time knowing that my food will be cold by the time I am done feeding.  After all, what is important is that my baby is taken care of, not that my food is warm.  I have said goodbye to the days of hot food and hello to the days of a content baby.  And I don't mind one bit!  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Descriptive Words
I am almost embarrassed to admit this but I called up a store a right before the holidays to ask if they had a très adorable holiday dress in stock that I had seen before we gave birth to Kate.  When the saleswoman on the phone asked me to describe it I said, "It was red and plaid and the size was three months..."  She didn't respond.  After all, I did just describe EVERY HOLIDAY DRESS ON THE PLANET.  So I continued, "...it was really cute."  Really cute?  Like that is going to help narrow it down... She said, "Ma'am, we have a lot of really cute holiday dresses in."  And that was when I politely excused myself and got off of the phone.  I no longer have the adjectives or brain power to describe what I am looking for.  I am just too in love with my sweet baby girl in la la land.  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Children's Policies
I took Kate with me to my eyebrow appointment.  She was asleep in her carseat and I knew it would only take 10 minutes to get my eyebrows done.  I was confident that she would sleep through the whole visit and we'd be on the road again.  When I arrived at the salon, I was informed of the Children's Policy.  That is, no children under 12 are allowed.  Even with adult supervision.  I was simply beside myself.  I had never heard of such a thing.  I asked for an exception.  I promised Kate would be good, and I promised I would not bring her back here until 2024.  All to no avail.  I cancelled my appointment and decided that I didn't really need my eyebrows done anyway, and I may not get them done for 12 more years either.  Policy, schmolicy...  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Finding Elevators
I was at the mall doing a bit of Christmas shopping with Kate in tow in her stroller.  I realized I needed to get to the second floor in the department store and right in front of me was the escalator that I normally would have accessed.  It had a big sign of a stroller surrounded by a circle with a line crossed through it - clearly stating that you may not put your child in harm's way in their store.  (Not that I would've done that anyway.)  And that was when panic struck.  How was I to get to the second floor?  Did I need to get back in my car and drive around to the second floor access point?  Was I to completely cut out shopping on the second floor today?  I quickly got a hold of myself and realized I just needed to find an elevator.  But where was the elevator?

I found the elevator, got to the second floor, did some shopping, and even got back down to the first floor.  I have since made a mental note to locate the elevators everywhere I go.  I can only assume this will be the public bathrooms in a few years.  Welcome Mommyhood.

On My Running Commentary
When Kate is awake, my day is spent describing everything we are doing.  "Now we're going to put the dishes away."  "This is where the plates go."  "This is where the forks go."  "This is a spoon."  "Can you say 'spoon'?"  When Kate is not awake, I find myself telling these things to Jack, who continues to cock his head slightly to the side and stare at me blankly. I can't stop the live narration of my daily life.  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Swaying
I find that when I have Kate in my arms it is my natural tendency to have a slight sway or bounce.  I mean, seriously, what infant just wants to stand there?!  I have also found that I tend to sway while I'm idle and sans baby too.  It's like a constant Mom sway.  Again, it's something out of my control that I cannot stop.  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Rescuing Animals
I would like to state for the record that I have successfully rescued several bats from Kate's caves...WITH MY BARE HANDS!!  And the satisfaction that I have received from doing so has been monumental.  Those little buggers won't be blocking my Baby's airways anytime soon!  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Pink Lint
We are currently washing Kate's clothes in Seventh Generation Baby laundry detergent and we are using Method Baby dryer sheets to dry with them.  We still keep our clothing separate.  Each time I do a load for Kate, the lint that comes out of the dryer in the lint collector is pink!  Pink lint!  And it is the cutest lint ever!  Kate, my darling girl, I promise I will do your laundry for you forever if your lint is always pink!  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Borrowed Time
I plan my day around Kate.  I love it, but I am also all about efficiency.  For example, if I am out running errands, I want to run them all so I don't have to make multiple trips.  With Kate eating every 2-3 hours still,  I work on her schedule.   I run errands, complete chores, and shower with bated breath, but I still enjoy every minute of it!  I wouldn't trade a day without Kate to get all of my errands done at once.  Ever.  I work on borrowed time now, and I am 100% okay with that.  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Melting Hearts
When Kate smiles, it melts my heart.  When Kate's little chin quivers, it melts my heart.  When Kate rubs her sleepy little eyes, it melts my heart. When Kate frowns right before she starts crying, it melts my heart.  When Kate coos, it melts my heart.  When Kate snuggles into the nook of my neck, it melts my heart.  When Kate looks up at me from the bathtub ever, it melts my heart.  Kate's clothes, yep, you got it - they melt my heart.  When I see photos of Kate, they melt my heart too.  When I think of how much I absolutely love my little girl, it melts my heart.   Every.little.thing that Kate does or Kate is related to (see 'pink lint' above), melts my heart.  I am a softy for my little girl.  She has won me over, a thousand times, and continues to get cuter and cuter each day!  Welcome Mommyhood.

On Calling the Pediatrician
Brian and I have called the pediatrician and spoken to the nurses several times.  Sometimes you just have a question that a book can't answer.  However, I have called several times about the very same issue - one of Kate's pupils looks to be larger than the other.  The nurses have tried to assure me that this is common.  (They know my name by now and I know theirs.)  They have left me empty handed and said that the pediatrician will take a look at Kate's beautiful baby blues at her next appointment.  That happens to be in MARCH.  That's over SEVEN weeks away!  I called again about this issue and the nurse finally gave in and said, "Why don't you bring Kate in and we'll take a look because I don't think you will be able to sleep if we don't."  I agreed.  You see, I just want to make sure that everything is okay.  When I asked if I was being paranoid, the nurse answered firmly and blatantly, "Yes."  WHAT?!  WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MY BABY GIRL HERE, LADY!  DO YOU THINK I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE THINGS LIGHTLY?!  Fortunately she followed up with, "But that is what we are here for, so let's get her in."  I know I'm not going to be able to protect Kate from everything, but you better believe that I am going to try my hardest to protect her from everything that I can.  And even though this is probably just a little anomaly that she will just grow out of, I just need some reassurance from a specialist, not a person over the phone who can't even see what I'm looking at.  Is that too much to ask?  Welcome Mommyhood.

I have embraced this new frontier with open arms and I have been nothing but pleased with the outcome.  I am so looking forward to all of the adventures that I have yet to experience in Mommyhood.  After all, being a Mom is (so far) the best adventure of all!

Welcome Mommyhood!!!

Milestone Moments

About a week ago, Kate went through a little growth spurt.  Her otherwise seamless 11:00 pm to 5:00 am night suddenly had a mid-morning feeding added in around 3:00-3:30 am.  This lasted just over a week.  Since then, we've hit several milestones:

1. We officially used the last size 1 diaper and are 100% wearing size 2 diapers.  I didn't realize that happened so fast!  Size 2 just sounds so much older.

2.  Speaking of size, we took the infant hammock out of Kate's tub because she was definitely getting a bit too long!  Her legs started to hang off the sides during bath time!  So we've also officially graduated to level 2 (of 3) of our infant tub!

If she barely fits when she's scrunched up, imagine her
legs-a-dangling when she's stretched out!

Testing the 'big girl' tub!

Realizing that this so called 'big girl' tub fills with water...

3.  Kate officially found her thumb.  And from what we've seen, it is absolutely delicious!

Our little monkey!

4.  And, (I saved the best for last!)...KATE ROLLED OVER!!!  But there's a little caveat: I missed it.  You see, Kate and I let Jack out.  Then I set her down on her tummy and went to let Jack in.  When I went back into the living room, literally 15 seconds later, she was on her back.  And then I wondered if I had set her on her back, and I'm so sure that I didn't.  But I missed it!  That little stinker!  And when I put her back on her tummy and got my camera, she refused to debut her skillz.  So I snapped some "pretending to roll" photos for reference:

Yep, that's how it starts!!!  She had me going!

But then she decided to stay like this for the next five
minutes...so I stopped taking pictures...

Our sweet girlie is growing up!  It's happening fast, but we are enjoying all of our very special moments together!  We ♥ you, Kate!

Light Bright

Let me tell you about my husband, Brian.  He is IMPOSSIBLE to buy for.  He had two items on his Christmas list this year and two weeks before Christmas he bought both of those items for himself.  I had no comment.

I rack my brain each and every birthday, Christmas, holiday that involves a gift to try to come up with something that I think he will love, and each and every birthday, Christmas, holiday that involves a gift, I end up scrambling.

It was no different this year, but in the wee days before Christmas, I had an ingenious idea: exterior lighting!

(Brian talked about adding lights to the house multiple times, so why not surprise him and get it done?!)

I set up an appointment with a local lighting company to place some faux lighting in the areas that we would have lights so that we could present it to Brian for his Christmas present.  Once Brian figured out where exactly he would like his lights, we could go ahead with the plan and get them installed.

Shortly before Christmas, this faux lighting was set up while we were out.  We got back home and were busy getting settled and having dinner when there was a knock at the door.  I looked slyly at Brian and said, "Hmm...I wonder who that is?!"  He was immediately curious...and confused.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

He looked at the door.

I said, "Merry Christmas!", and he was even more confused.  (I learned that night that Brian doesn't love surprises.)  Our outdoor lighting expert answered the door with a Safari Zoo wind breaker on.  I also learned (later) that Brian thought that I set up some sort of over-the-top Christmas light display on our house for him.  Oh, Brian!

Our lighting expert, Matt, had us walk to the middle of the yard.  When he plugged the lights in, I explained to Brian what was going on.  The house was uplit to perfection, and this was his Christmas present.

It took him a little while to comprehend, and he was very concerned that this little stunt I had just pulled had already been installed (read: expensive and permanent).  I assured him it wasn't and let him know that we could decide whether or not to go through with it, but I had absolutely exhausted all other Christmas present avenues and time was-a-tickin'!

We decided together that the exterior lighting would be our Christmas present to ourselves.  See our lighting debut below:

BEFORE: No lights.

AFTER: LIGHTS!

What a merry and bright Christmas it was!  And, for your viewing pleasure, watch our light transformation unfold here!

Lucky Thirteen

It's two thousand thirteen.  Our baby girl had her two month appointment today.  She weighed thirteen pounds, thirteen ounces!  AND, when you flip thirty-one around (the day she was born), you get thirteen!

Anyone feeling lucky?!

13 lb. 13 oz. Kate...in 2013.

She was also 23" long.  That puts her in the 85th percentile for weight (same as the last visit) and 75th percentile for height (same as the last visit).  Once again, I don't have an exact measurement for her head circumference but she, again, was in the 80th percentile.  (I'm going to remember to write those numbers down one of these visits...)  Our sweet girlie is healthy and consistent!

She received one shot in each leg, both were choc full of vaccinations, and one cold oral vaccination.  She was such a trooper!  She only let out a little scream, but was quickly soothed when I picked her up.  There's simply nothing like being in the arms of your Mommy!  I can't begin to tell you how good it makes me feel to comfort my Baby.

We are headed back to the doc in March for some more vaccinations and another well baby visit.  Hopefully I will remember to write down her head circumference at that time...

2012: What A Ride

First and foremost, my friend, Aubrey, thought of this fantastic way to cap off the year, and I just had to follow suit!  Thanks for the very creative inspiration, Aubrey!

2012 proved to be an absolutely unbelievable year!  See for yourself:

JANUARY

We started the year off with a few home improvements.

And met up with some out of town friends visiting from
Hawaii!

We made cookies commemorating Brian's Grandpa's 80th
birthday.

And we celebrated said
birthday in style!

FEBRUARY

We bought a new car!

And met up with some more out of town friends and their
new bundle of joy!

Matt came to visit from Switzerland and he and Brian
went to the Superbowl!

We began our fence install.

And we found out we were expecting!!!

MARCH

We finished our fence install.

We visited Bryce Canyon and Salt Lake City, Utah.

We met up with the Canadians at Niagara Falls where we
"broke the news"!

And had our first official ultrasound where we found out
we were due on October 25th.

APRIL

We celebrated Easter as a family!

And had another ultrasound and another glimpse at
our little growing bambino!

MAY

We celebrated Cinco de Mayo with (and without) alcohol!

Gangsta Tom helped us organize our basement.

We celebrated Erin's 30th birthday in Maryland!

And we found out we were expecting a little girl!

JUNE

We took our first beach vacation in the Outer Banks with
Jack and our beach bum-p!

And Erin headed up North to Ottawa to visit these
fine folks!

JULY

We began our sunroom renovation!

And our nursery renovation!

Began to really notice our week
24 growing belly!

Celebrated Brian's 36th birthday in Ohio!

And we began to put together the nursery!

AUGUST

We saw a 3D image of our little bambino!

Celebrated our 2 year anniversary with a dinner
at Northstar!

Began our childbirth class!

Celebrated the impending birth of Baby Girl Hendricks
in Maryland.

And Brian released his 9th licensed print!

SEPTEMBER

We continued to work diligently on our Baby Girl's nursery.

We celebrated Brian's Grandma's 80th Birthday!

We graduated from our childbirth
class!

And celebrated the impending birth of Baby Girl Hendricks
in Ohio...

...twice!!

OCTOBER

We did a 9 month maternity
photo shoot!

We finished the nursery!

We patiently waited for our sweet
baby girl to make her debut!

And then went to the hospital to be induced!

And gave birth to our very special Kate Madeline!

NOVEMBER

Adjusted to life with our new family member!

Fell more and more in love with
our little angel!

Celebrated our very first Thanksgiving as a family of three!

Matt came to visit and attend
yet another sporting event
with Brian!

DECEMBER

We took Kate to meet Santa!

We did our very first art project!

Celebrated our very first
Christmas together!

Hosted a lovely house party!

And topped off the year in Maryland!

What an unbelievable, amazing year!  If 2013 proves to be half as exciting as 2012 I think we are in good shape!

Happy New Year!